JustLeslie

letitgo

its this unconscious feeling…

so for whatever reason, i was snooping around fb just to snoop. I, out of curiosity, end up checking on josh’s baby mama’s page. Its like..whatever. then i seen one of her friend with a picture of their daughter too. so i clicked on it, and come to find out, its his page. the picture was actually of him and his daughter. i didnt recognize his face.

he said before that he’s not into that kind of shit on the internet. but i guess thats not true anymore. anyway, he didnt post much but just youtube videos. one thing for sure, he posted the whole lyrics to usher’s climax song  along with the song saying he cant get it out of his mind. then a sad face at the end. come on .. thats a broken up couple song. i dont know for sure  if him and amera broke up, but if so.. i would really really want to know her as herself now. 

i feel like im blaming him that we cant be friends. because he wouldnt let her talk to me due to his stupid insecurites. but there is also a feeling in me, thats wanting me to say it out. that i hope hes unhappy and suffers a long heartbreak. its so evil. i dont want to think this way, but deeply inside, i do believe i feel this way. maybe due to such a heartbreak i got from him, i want him to feel it too. because then, he’ll remember that he had hurt someone who fell for him like he fell for her too. and then..he’ll appreciate me even after im gone. because he doesnt deserve whats good. 

U SKINNY PEOPLE!

IM NOT FAT, BUT IM NOT SKINNY. GOSH..WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET SKINNY? LOL. IVE NEVER REALLY PUT MYSELF TO TEST IF I COULD GET SKINNY, BUT I SHOULD NOW. SUMMER’S COMING. THAT SEXY LOOKING BEACH BODY, I GOTTA HAVE. I MEAN, I HAVE A GOOD SIZE BOOBS AND ASS, JUST NEED TO LOOSE THESE STOMACH FATS THEN I COULD WEAR BIKINIS WITH NO WORRIES. AHAHA.. =)

been awhile

so other than ranting my bossy boss, im glad i got some things off my shoulders today. caught up with math class, finished filling out those citizen ship papers, and sent all my paper works to the tutoring place im about to work with. 

it didnt take much effort to do it, but its just, if u complete one thing, u want to keep it going. likewise, if u lag on one thing, u just gonna keep on lagging. 

planning to go shopping with the sisters for some dress shoes. i hate it cuz i cant find decent ones. im not picky, im very simple, they’re just not simple. lol. 

privilege

so 2 weeks ago my boss wrote me up for not being able to make it to work 7am. she gave me a day notice and didnt even ask if i could. just added me in early without asking if i can first. i called in at 6 telling the manager there i dont feel good but ill try to make it by 8 or 9. she said its fine, just go in when i feel better. those words did gave me comfort to not worry about getting caught up in it, so i head back to bed. didnt wake up til 9 something. should’ve called them and told them what time i plan to make it by, but yet i didnt. yes, thats my part of the fault. but the thing is, i was originally scheduled to start at 11, i thought might as well go in as start my regular time since by the time i get there, it wont make a big difference. 10:30 the boss lady called and said why did i lied that i was gonna be there by 8. bitch, i swear. i did not lie. i said ill try. and me going in at 11, wouldve been perfectly the same thing as if she WOULD ask me in the first place if i can go in at 7 and i was to say no. so she wrote me up for lack of communication. and said our supervisor wouldnt be happy to hear it. im like, seriously.. you would say that? the supervisor and i know each way before i even start there. and our relationship is pretty lay back. that kind of feeling when u know someone got your back. he knows how i work so it didnt even bother me of the fact he’s gonna know, but rather the fact that she would tell him on such a small matter. like a snitch. hella dumb. anyway, justin, our supervisor never asked me anything of it. we approach each other just as we would on a regular basis. 

well, today she texted me if i work at 3. today’s my day off and i really dont want to go to work, but the kind of person i am, i would still consider it. i told her i can go in at 6 cuz i got things to do, but she said she’ll find someone else. thank you. i just better not walk in the office tomorrow seeing a write up for not going in. she does not have the privilege of me having her back and go out of my way to work on my day off when i have tons of stuff to catch up on. enough said.  

erggg.

Time, space, distance, resentment, whatever the fuck u call it, aint never gonna be the same even as it first was.